How To Get To Know A Guy

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When you're single and looking, it can be supes frustrating to hear meaningless platitudes like "Your soul mate will come along when you least expect it!" from your most happily coupled-up friends. Cool, guys, I'm sure my next S.O. will just waltz into my living room one Tuesday night when I'm binge-watching Netflix on the couch. Yeah, no. Truly putting yourself out there and meeting people can be super hard, let alone meeting people you actually legitimately like enough to start a relationship. Plus...what if you're not the waiting-around type? "When I least expect it" isn't a time you can plug into your Google calendar. Sometimes, you want to take things into your own hands and actively look for a new partner on your own schedule. And while we love dating apps, they're definitely not the only way to find a new flame. (Although, yes, it can totally feel that way sometimes.) After all, people used to figure out a way to do this on their own, face-to-face! But you may have to get a little more creative and adventurous than hitting up the same old bars you and your friends always go to. Now's the time to branch out and try something new in order to meet someone new! We rounded up 39 totally creative ways to meet guys IRL—and nope, none of them involve swiping of any kind. Sorry though, they most definitely *do* involve getting off your couch. You've got this. (And once you meet someone new, we've got you covered with fun, unexpected date ideas too. You're welcome.)

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Google "free events in [your city]"

You'd be surprised by how many fun, interesting, and, most important, *free* events there are going on on any given night in cities all over the country. Anyone clever enough to show up at an actually cool free event is probably also going to be great at planning dates...just saying.

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Strike up a conversation at the airport

You're both basically stranded here for a bit, so you might as well make the most of it! If they're from wherever you're headed, ask for some tips on the best local spots to check out...and, you know, maybe even whether they'd like to join you.

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Go to a sporting event with friends

The adrenaline of cheering on the home team may just translate into striking up a convo with the crew to your right...or at least some flirty banter with the opposing team's fans!

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Pay a stranger a compliment

It's a fact: People love to feel good about themselves. Something as simple as saying, "Those shoes are so cool," while waiting in line can go a long way in kicking off a conversation. (The same goes for making friends, if you don't spot any romantic prospects.)

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Spring for tix for a ~fancy~ charity event

Bonus if it's black tie so you can look amazing in a rented ballgown. And hey, it's for a good cause! (Your love life. The cause is your love life.)

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Go to a podcast meetup

Take advantage of the built-in community around your favorite podcast and go to (or organize!) a casual get-together in your city. You'll have built-in topics to talk about, so conversation will flow naturally. Plus, you already know you have things in common with whoever's there!

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Visit an art museum

Best case scenario, you chat it up with someone new and ~artsy~; worst case scenario, you still have a day's worth of Instagram Stories that make you look super cultured. Oh, and actually looking at the art is cool too.

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Leave your phone at home

Instead of keeping your eyes on your Insta feed while you're waiting in line at Starbs, you'll be forced to make eye contact with the cutie in line in front of you.

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Ask your friends/coworkers to set you up

Sometimes you just gotta ask! You never know which of your friends is secretly hiding Prince Charming.

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Just ask out your crush!

If you've been crushing and flirting for a while with each other and are looking for a sign, this is it! Odds are, he'll be pretty impressed and flattered if not stoked to go out with you, and if not, then you can ride that energy and use it to keep asking cuties out until you meet your soul mate.

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Strike up a conversation at a bookstore

Tell him you are getting a gift for a friend and can't decide which book is better. Ask him to read both jacket flaps and see which story he finds more interesting.

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See a comedy show

Laughter + a crowd that's thirsty for low-stakes entertainment = many, many bonding moments.

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Hang out at a dog park

Single dudes with dogs are always trying to settle down. That's just science! You don't get a dog if you're trying to be alone forever—you just don't.

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Go to an event one of your Facebook friends is hosting that you typically wouldn't show up to

Not only are you being a supportive friend, you'll probably meet some cool people!

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If you hit it off with a cutie in line for a concert or movie or in line for the bathroom, suggest you follow each other on Instagram to keep in touch

This way you can stay top-of-mind and let a slow burning Insta-flirtation build.

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Join a rec league

Again, shared interests are a great way to find potential dates. Plus, since it's not just a one-off thing, you'll have time to build chemistry with people.

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Loiter at a bar alone

Not only are your odds of meeting people pretty high, but it's also good to realize you don't need a squad to go out and have fun.

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Practice your angles

Seriously nothing cheesy about spending a few minutes perfecting your "I'm approachable" smile if it gives you confidence to use it out and about.

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Send a cute guy at the bar or restaurant a drink or a plate of fries

When he looks over, channel your best knowing wink and wait for him to come over.

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Obvs, never take a class to meet a guy, but if you've always wanted to try painting or music theory, the upside is you may meet cool new people who share your passions. Just go in it with zero expectations of meeting your future boo and all intentions of having a fun time doing what you love.

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Go to trivia night at a bar

A healthy sense of competition sounds ripe for sexual tension, right?

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Volunteer

Most people sign up to volunteer alone so you won't feel awks about a cliquey environment. Also, you're simultaneously doing some serious good for the world.

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Enlist one or two friends to be your wing women

The smaller your squad, the least likely he'll be intimidated.

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Banter with someone in a comment thread

If there's one good thing Facebook offers (and there are so, so few), it's mackin' on a friend-of-a-friend you have never met but just realized ALSO studied abroad in Paris and recommended the SAME café as you did.

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Hit up someone you went to school with

High school was all about social status, and maybe you thought you simply couldn't ask out the cute jock. But everyone's older and more mature now, so if you've had that forever-crush on someone and they're def single, just comment on their Insta or something!

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Muster the energy to go to that house party

You only know one or two people there? Even better. It pushes you to talk to new people instead of huddling in a corner with your BFFs all night. Also, it's a very natural, judgment-free environment for flirting—there are always at least four other couples doing it.

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Pick a more interactive gym routine

Take a class or get a membership somewhere more conducive to talking to strangers (like a rock-climbing one) and show off your fave workout gear. Asking for advice on your form from a beautifully buff dude is the perfect icebreaker too.

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Travel

If you sign up for a tour with a friend or something, you'll likely come across some pretty interesting other tourists whether they're staying at your hotel, hitting up the same sightseeing places with you, or what have you!

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Go to a career networking event

Any sane person hates these (even though they really can help you form valuable connections), but it's also a setting where it's literally weird if you DON'T hit up someone new, aka maybe perfect for talking to a crush.

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There are plenty of nature-focused or spiritual retreats that encourage both being on your own and bonding with new people—maybe your future partner is one of them.