How To Get Rid Of Pacifier 3 Year Old
How to Ditch the Pacifier
Breaking the habit won't be fun for anyone. But following a few tips — starting with keeping calm and consistent — will make the process smoother.
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This guide was originally published on September 16, 2019 in NYT Parenting.
Binky, soother, paci, dummy — a pacifier has many names, but one purpose: comfort. The act of sucking seems to have powerful biological effects in babies: There's evidence that pacifiers can reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), shorten the length of a preemie's stay in the neonatal intensive care unit, and even help to relieve pain during medical procedures. But at some point, your child has to give it up. After all, no one goes to high school with a binky.
I talked to a pediatric psychologist, a pediatrician, a dentist and a speech-language pathologist about when and how to wean your child from the pacifier — and how to prepare yourself for the process.
Decide when to wean.
The American Academy of Pediatrics does not have an official recommended age for dropping the pacifier, however most experts agree that it's best to wean at any point between 1 and 3 years, said Dr. Lori Feldman-Winter, M.D., M.P.H., a professor of pediatrics at Cooper Medical School of Rowan University and the chair of the Policy Committee for the American Academy of Pediatrics Section on breastfeeding.
There are certain things to consider when figuring out when to wean within that 1-to-3-year timeframe. Doing it closer to their first birthday, for instance, can have advantages, said Meghan Walls, Psy.D., a pediatric psychologist at Nemours/Alfred I. duPont Hospital for Children in Wilmington, Del., since their sucking habit hasn't been reinforced in their brain for too long. Dr. Feldman-Winter agreed. Babies develop object permanence between about 9 and 12 months, she said, which means they become attached to objects and can remember they want them even when they can't see them. "It's much harder to get rid of things like pacifiers after a year," she said.
By the same token, waiting to wean until closer to 3 years might be harder because the habit has been ingrained for longer. On the other hand, an older child will be able to better understand when you explain what's going to happen, and you can teach her simple self-soothing techniques, such as deep breathing.
Understand why you should wean.
Allowing children to use a pacifier much beyond 3 years can be harmful to their dental health, said Dr. Joe Castellano, D.D.S., the immediate past-president of the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry and a dentist in Laredo, Tex.
Some studies suggest, for instance, that the longer a child uses a pacifier past age 3, the greater his risk for tooth-alignment issues, which could later require braces. The two most frequent problems, according to Dr. Castellano, are an open bite (where the top and bottom front teeth don't touch even when the child is biting down) and a crossbite (where some of the upper teeth bite on the inside of the lower teeth). Dr. Castellano said he sometimes sees an open bite so dramatic that it looks like a pacifier-shaped gap between a child's front teeth. For this reason, the A.A.P.D. recommends that children try to stop using a pacifier by age 3, he said. If you're not sure whether your child's pacifier is affecting his teeth, discuss it with his pediatric dentist.
If your child is at least 9 months old and is having frequent ear infections, that's another indicator that it might be time to give up the paci. A 2003 review by the Canadian Paediatric Society found that pacifier use among children ages 3 and under can increase the risk for middle-ear infections. One 1999 study of 200 babies who were 12 months or younger, for example, found that those who used a pacifier for more than five hours per day had a greater chance of ear infections than those who didn't use a pacifier. The Canadian Paediatric Society recommends that children stop using a pacifier if they have recurring ear infections. If you notice this in your child, ask your pediatrician about it.
If your child was born prematurely, Dr. Feldman-Winter recommended waiting until at least 12 months after your original due date to wean. Premature babies are at higher risk of SIDS, and evidence suggests that pacifiers can help to protect against it.
Sometimes parents are concerned that pacifiers might contribute to speech problems, but there's no solid body of evidence linking the two, said Diane Paul, Ph.D., a speech-language pathologist at the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association in Rockville, Md. Two small studies — one of about 70 2-to-6.5-year-olds in Arkansas and another of about 200 preschoolers in Australia, published in 2008 and 2018 respectively — found no difference in speech difficulties between children who used a pacifier and those who did not. One 2009 study of about 130 3-to-5-year-olds in Chile, however, did suggest that children who continued using a pacifier or sucking their fingers past age 3 were more likely to develop speech disorders than those who did not use a pacifier. It found no increased risk, however, for children who had used a pacifier for 3 years or less. "If there's a link at all, it's for preschool children who've used the pacifier for 3 years or more," said Dr. Paul, but larger studies are still needed to tease out these differences.
Another concern parents may have is that a pacifier might disrupt breastfeeding, but if your child is already using a pacifier, this fear isn't backed by solid science, said Dr. Feldman-Winter. The research on whether pacifiers interfere with successful breastfeeding is mixed and comes from the first few months of life, especially from the time before breastfeeding is fully established. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends waiting to introduce a pacifier until after breastfeeding is well established, Dr. Feldman-Winter said, which means breastfeeding is going well and the baby is gaining weight and is able to latch and feed effectively, without causing any pain in the mother.
Decide on the right timing for you.
Once you've established that your child is ready to ditch her binky, now it's time to figure out whether the timing is right for you. The next few days or weeks might be bumpier than usual. Your child may cry or scream more easily, demand more attention or be resistant to playing independently — and may need to be soothed in other ways. Take away the pacifier when you're confident that you can resist giving it back when the going gets tough, and you're prepared to cope with the possibility of getting less sleep yourself. (If you're about to have another baby, go on an extended family trip or start a new job, it might not be the right time.)
Either way, it's not going to be fun. "To be honest, there's no way to take away the pacifier that's going to be pleasant," said Walls. One mother, Anne Meade, said that she and her wife, Brielle, of Boston, decided their daughter would go cold turkey on her first birthday. "Naps were a little rough for about a week, but other than that, she was fine," Meade, 37, said. "And I did see a change in her over the next couple months that made me think, 'If I had waited, this could have been ugly.'"
Choose your method.
There are four common strategies for pulling the plug. There's no evidence that one method is better than any other. You know your child best, Walls said, so choose the approach that you think will work for your child and that you can be consistent with.
Go cold turkey. Prepare your child by explaining what will happen, then take the pacifier away. This is the method Dr. Castellano used with his son when he was between 12 and 16 months old. If your child uses the pacifier throughout much of the day, you can first cut down to using it only in the car and at bedtime, and then just at bedtime. Finally, you can take it away completely.
Cut a hole in it. Cut off the tip of the pacifier or snip a hole in it so the pacifier no longer provides suction. Give your child the pacifier as usual — sucking on it won't be effective, so your child won't like it as much and will eventually stop using it.
Give a reward. Explain that you're going to take away the pacifier, but allow your child to choose a reward in return. This could be a toy or a special experience, like going to the science museum, baking cookies or getting to choose a special meal. This is the method Walls used when her daughter was 3. "She did indeed get this very cool toy that she was very excited about, until bedtime," Walls said. "And then she was like, 'Can I trade it back?'" This method won't be effective if your child is 12 months or younger, however, since they won't understand the concept of a reward.
Have the paci fairy visit. Some parents tell their kids that a paci fairy — similar to a tooth fairy — will come at night and take away all the pacifiers, leaving a reward in return. Lots of board books will tell this story for you, if you prefer. The paci fairy works best for children who are at least 2 years old, Walls said; for very young children, it may be even more confusing than a reward.
Prepare yourself.
Regardless of the method, there are four things you should do to make the process go as smoothly as possible:
Stand firm in your approach. "The biggest thing that makes you successful is consistency," Walls said. If you take away the pacifier but then cave and give it back, it's going to be more difficult. All the adults in the house have to be on board. There is one exception, however, said Dr. Castellano: "If you take away the pacifier and they switch out for the thumb or a finger, give them the pacifier back." The thumb habit is harder to break because, well, you can't take away a thumb. In this case, Dr. Castellano recommended trying again after a couple of months.
Have a simple, clear message. Walls recommended saying something like, "We're going to get rid of your binky tomorrow, and I wanted to let you know." That's it. You don't need to give an explanation — toddlers' brains aren't developed enough to understand one. This is especially true if you are weaning on the earlier end of the age range.
Keep calm. Keep your tone neutral and matter-of-fact. If your child gets upset, validate her feelings by reflecting them back, using phrases like "I know you miss your pacifier" or "This is hard for you." Never take away the pacifier as a punishment. "That's not a logical consequence," Walls said. However, it is good to praise your child for not using the pacifier — this is positive reinforcement to encourage the behavior you want.
Arm yourself with other sources of comfort. If your child is crying, screaming, demanding more attention or resistant to playing independently after you take away her pacifier, find other ways to soothe her. This could be a calming activity you do at bedtime or when she would normally reach for the pacifier: a back rub, a story, lying down together, cuddling or doing some deep breathing exercises. You could also give her another comfort object: a soft blanket, a stuffed animal or other lovey. Sometimes parents get nervous that they're going to have to lie down with their child at bedtime forever, Walls said, but be assured that this need for greater soothing is temporary.
Anna Nowogrodzki is a science journalist and mom in the Boston area.
How To Get Rid Of Pacifier 3 Year Old
Source: https://www.nytimes.com/article/parenting-pacifier-guide.html#:~:text=If%20your%20child%20uses%20the,pacifier%20no%20longer%20provides%20suction.
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